


A Secret

by supremegreendragon



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Betrayal, Bi-Curiosity, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, Lloyd's attracted to Kratos before he knows who he really is, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Overprotective, Pet Names, Protective Kratos, Redemption, Spoilers, Zelos is a flirt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22262248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supremegreendragon/pseuds/supremegreendragon
Summary: On their journey, Lloyd admits he has feelings for Kratos. After being rejected without a reason, Lloyd falls in love with Zelos instead. But why is Zelos treating him like a dirty secret? And why is Kratos so angry about their love life?
Relationships: Kratos Aurion & Lloyd Irving, Lloyd Irving/Zelos Wilder
Kudos: 23





	A Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Just to let you guys know, this fic goes by the entire plot pretty fast. The line breaks are time skips. Didn't want anyone to be confused. Anway, thank you for reading ;-)

Lloyd wasn’t sure how anyone else could sleep, as tomorrow would be the day Colette unlocked the last seal. Just thinking about it sent his heart pounding. Their journey was almost over. And yet….Lloyd couldn’t help but feel like this was just the beginning. Sure, they’d been on many adventures. And sure, the journey would have to end at some point. However, something told him this wasn’t the end, as if Martel herself was whispering promises in his ear.

  
He frowned when he noticed the bed beside him was empty. Where did Kratos go? Curious, Lloyd got up to look for him. After searching the entire inn, he decided to go outside. He spotted Kratos talking to Noishe again. Lloyd smiled at the sight. It was cute how someone as tough-looking as Kratos could be into dogs. Noishe seemed to like him too. He always wagged his tail whenever Kratos approached him, leaning into Kratos’ hand to coax the man into petting him.

Lloyd stared at Kratos, licking his dry lips. They were all alone. He could tell Kratos anything. He could finally reveal the feelings that had been budding throughout this whole adventure.

He loved Kratos.

It started out as a simple crush. But over time, Lloyd’s feelings for the mercenary had changed. It felt like Kratos was a missing piece to his life. He had a feeling that Kratos was already aware of these feelings, or at least suspected them. Lloyd wondered how he would take the news once he told him directly. Kratos might have some reservations because of the age gap. Yet Lloyd didn’t let this discourage him. If he could just prove to Kratos that he wasn’t a little kid---that he could love like an adult, maybe Kratos would say yes.

Besides, these bottled up feelings were eating Lloyd alive. He just had to let him know.

But before Lloyd could call out to him, a strange figure appeared beside Kratos. Kratos didn’t notice it yet, but Lloyd saw the glint of silver even in the dark. The figure had a weapon!

“Kratos! Watch out!” Lloyd cried.

Kratos responded in a flash. His sword slashed at his would-be attacker, causing blood to spill on the ground. Groaning, the figure disappeared as quickly as it had come. Lloyd ran up to the mercenary, worry etched across his face.

“Are you hurt?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” Kratos spoke calmly. He clearly wanted to ease Lloyd’s distress. Lloyd bared his teeth in anger.

“What kind of coward does a sneak attack? If you had died….I would’ve…” he trailed off.

Now Kratos was looking at him curiously. Lloyd took in a deep breath to calm himself down. It was fine. Kratos wasn’t going anywhere.

The mercenary decided to change the subject, “Why are you out here, Lloyd?” He asked casually, already forgetting that he had just been targeted by an assassin. It was moments like these that made Lloyd amazed at his lack of reaction.

“Well…I…” Lloyd felt his mouth go dry. He wouldn’t back down now. He refused, “I just wanted to tell you….”

Something strange flashed across Kratos’ eyes. Realization? Now it was the older man who looked nervous.

“Lloyd, you should be in bed.”

“In a minute, I have to tell you—”

“—Tomorrow will be the biggest part of our adventure. You need to rest up for it.”

Lloyd paused, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you didn’t _want_ me to keep talking.”

“There’s nothing you need to say right now that you can’t say—”

“—Kratos, I love you.”

Blink. The next few seconds seem to go in slow motion. Kratos blinked at him with an unreadable expression, while Lloyd trembled as he waited for his response. Kratos’ worried look turned even worse—to sadness. His eyes fell, looking guilty.

“I’m sorry, Lloyd. But no,” his voice remained as gentle as possible, while still being firm. It was a tone which stated there would be no discussion.

Lloyd felt a dull ache in his chest. For the first time, Kratos didn’t have the nerve to look him in the eye, as if he was ashamed at himself for something. Lloyd knew Kratos didn’t want to continue the conversation, but the childish side of him wanted to argue.

“Is it because I’m younger? Or because you prefer women? Is there something about me I can change to make you change your mind?”

Kratos placed a firm hand on Lloyd’s shoulder. He gave it a gentle squeeze, finally meeting Lloyd’s eye.

“Never change for anyone.”

“But…then…” Lloyd knew he was fighting a losing battle. His resolve was crumbling with every second he looked at Kratos’ sad smile.

“One day you’ll know why I rejected you. And you’ll thank me for it.”

_Why can’t you tell me now?_ Lloyd wanted to ask. He wanted to but didn’t. Despite his heartbreak, he was determined to show Kratos that he had indeed grown strong. He could handle something like this without demanding anything more. He would prove that he was an adult. He confessed, Kratos said no, so the next step would be to respectfully move on.

Lloyd offered a smile to disguise the pain in his heart, “Well, I really don’t understand. But I trust you have your reasons. You haven’t failed any of us yet, Kratos.”

And the guilty look on Kratos’ face came back.

* * *

Lloyd glared feebly at the man he had once respected. Kratos’ blue wings seemed to glow brighter after their defeat, as if to mock Lloyd before killing him. The feeling of disgust overwhelmed every inch of Lloyd’s soul. He can’t believe he had told Kratos that he loved him. The traitor was going to kill Colette, but only after his friend, Yggdrasill finished them off.

The blonde smirked in amusement. He didn’t need to use his hands. He raised his sword with nothing but sheer willpower. He was aiming the tip in Lloyd’s direction, ready to send it flying into his chest. Kratos’ expression gave nothing away. Lloyd half hoped he would try to stop the blonde at any moment. Yggdrasill paused to look at Kratos, his damn smirk still present.

“Kratos. I trust there isn’t any objections.”

Suddenly, they were interrupted by a few newcomers. It was that man named Yuan and the bearded Desian that had been after Colette. Lloyd couldn’t believe his eyes. What were once his enemies were now fighting off Yggdrasill and Kratos.

Yuan opened up a portal.

“Botta, get the others and let’s move!”

And with that, the enemies collected Lloyd and his friends and took them to safety.

* * *

After escaping Yuan, the disoriented crew attempted to piece together the puzzle, while at the same time looking for an exit. Collette could fight with more power than ever before, but at a terrible cost. Lloyd had to look away from her lifeless doll eyes. It was so different than her usual cheerful demeanor. The real Collette was locked deep inside, while the rest of the body fought off any attacker with ease.

Raine, being the only true adult left of the group, did her best to keep the rest in high spirits. She advised to fight only when necessary. Otherwise, they should just keep out of sight. Their supplies were running short and she was running out of magic to cure people herself.

She looked at Lloyd, “It seems Kratos had us all fooled.”

Lloyd paled, “I don’t want to talk about him.”

“We have to! We can’t just pretend he didn’t betray us all,” Genis yelled, quick to his sister’s defense.

“I agree. We should try to figure out what he’s after. As well as that Yggdrasill guy,” Sheena added.

Lloyd glared at everyone for arguing against him. He couldn’t hold his temper anymore. It was one thing to be rejected by Kratos. It was quite another to realize he had been evil all along.

“I don’t care. Talk about it when I’m not here.”

“Lloyd, what’s gotten into you?”

“Shut up, Genis.”

Sheena shook her head, “Lloyd—”

“Fuck everything about Kratos! He’s an asshole and that’s it. What more is there to talk about?!”

Raine stopped walking. As she was in the lead, the others stopped with her. Lloyd looked into his teacher’s eyes, trying not to show the sadness he felt.

“He hurt us all, Lloyd,” she responded calmly.

“I know….I just….”

“…Just?” Raine pressed gently.

“Loved him,” Lloyd admitted to them for the first time. Genis offered a sympathetic look to his best friend. Lloyd felt like a child in need of comfort.

He had been wrong before. He still had a lot of growing up to do.

* * *

Days passed and Lloyd steadily cheered up. The wonders of Tethe’alla distracted him from the heartache he had faced in Sylvarant. Meltokio was bigger than any town that Lloyd had ever seen. Wherever he looked, there was another store filled to the brim with merchandise. So, this was what prosperity looked like.

And then…. _he_ came along. Zelos Wilder treated the women following him like accessories. He smiled when he saw Colette, even though she had just thrown him into the air. He winked at Raine, calling her a beauty. If Lloyd had been honest, he thought Zelos was pretty too. He didn’t realize men could even get that beautiful.

“Who are you?” he asked him, trying to hide the awe he felt.

And Zelos frowned. He didn’t seem nearly as interested in Lloyd as he was with the girls of the group.

“Sorry. I don’t talk to guys.”

Lloyd thought this sounded pretty odd. It was even weirder that the guy openly admitted to it. Genis scowled at him for being so rude to Lloyd. He got in between them, looking ready to fight.

“He’s too good for you anyway!” Genis said. He clearly wanted to protect Lloyd from any further heartbreak after what had happened.

Zelos’ eyes grew to the size of moons, his jaw dropping as if he didn’t realize what he had just heard. The girls behind them giggled. Meanwhile, Lloyd and the others didn’t understand what was so funny.

Instead of looking at Lloyd with disinterest, Zelos was now looking at him in complete shock.

“You….you like guys?”

“Come on, Zelos,” one of the girls sneered, “Let’s get out of here before his gayness rubs off on you.”

The women led the redheaded man away. But Zelos kept looking at Lloyd as if he was the most intriguing phenomenon. Lloyd felt flustered. He preferred it when the guy had no interest in him.

“What was that all about?” Raine asked. Tethe’alla was truly a strange place.

Meanwhile, Genis gave Lloyd a stern look. Placing his hands on his hips, Genis tapped his foot impatiently.

“What is it with you and redheaded men?”

Lloyd managed a small smile. At least he could always count on his friends.

* * *

Zelos and Presea joined the group, both surprisingly good at fighting. They also had Exspheres of their own, adding to their abilities in combat.

The bridge seemed to stretch on for miles. Every time Lloyd glanced out into the distance; he saw nothing but bridge ahead of him. A building of this scale would be unheard of in Sylvarant.

Zelos hummed a tune as he trotted along with a smile. They had told him what Exspheres really were, but the morbid news didn’t seem to register in his mind. Something told Lloyd it was all on act, however. Perhaps this was Zelos’ way to cheer them up. Zelos seemed to thrive when people were in high spirits, not when they were feeling sorry for themselves.

The humming grew louder in Lloyd’s ear, signaling that Zelos was now right beside him. The brunette looked at him curiously. Zelos gave him a friendly smile and for half a moment Lloyd thought (hoped?) that he would wink at him.

“I think now’s a good as time as any to come up with everyone’s nicknames,” Zelos announced.

Lloyd arched an eyebrow, “What are you talking about all the sudden?”

“You can call me Mr. Zelos,” there was a smoldering look in the redhead’s eyes. His voice went an octave deeper. Lloyd appeared to be the only one who noticed this sudden change in his demeanor, probably because Zelos was only looking at him. After a few seconds, he returned to his goofy smile, nodding in Presea’s direction, “Presea will be Little One. Colette is Miss Angel. Lloyd is Hey You and Genis is Brat.”

“Gee, you spent a lot of time on mine and Lloyd’s name,” Genis said bitterly.

Lloyd tried not to let this bother him. Zelos clearly didn’t find him attractive, but he wouldn’t take it personally. As long as Zelos didn’t pull a Kratos and betray them all, he would deal with it.

…That was what Lloyd told himself, at least. But it was getting harder to deal with Zelos’ scorn. Why did he have to develop a crush on two people who refuse to give him a chance? Curse his luck.

“Don’t mention it,” Zelos waved Genis off, “And Raine shall be Ultra Gorgeous Beauty.”

The professor scowled, “I don’t want to be called that.”

Zelos fumbled around, clearly not expecting Raine to hate her new nickname, “Then….Her Highness?”

“Zelos, can’t you come up with something more normal?” she sighed.

After a few minutes of debating on her nickname, Zelos went with Professor Beauty. Finally, they reached the end of the bridge. Lloyd smiled in relief. That walk took forever! The others went on ahead and Zelos was the only one behind Lloyd now.

“Yo Lloyd, got a minute?” Zelos said.

Pausing, Lloyd glanced at the others. They were too far away to be in earshot. So whatever Zelos wanted, he had deliberately waited until they were alone. Lloyd furrowed his brows.

“Sure. What’s up?”

_Please don’t say anything about my obvious one-sided crush on you. Just let it go_ , he pleaded in his head.

“Hey, buddy. I just wanted to let you know….” for the first time, Zelos was at a loss for words. His eyes held deep thought, “Do you like your nickname?”

“Uh…” Lloyd couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Zelos clearly hadn’t put much thought into the nickname before, so why did he care what he thought?

“I know! Secret Sweetie. But only when we’re alone, okay?”

“What?”

“Listen, Lloyd. I got a reputation to keep. But I’m always looking for a new experience, so I figured we should keep this all under wraps. After this adventure, come visit me. We’ll go out.”

Lloyd’s face burned, “You…want to give it a try…?”

“In secret. My reputation, you know.”

“What does your reputation have to do with—”

“Hey, you two! Are you coming or what?” Genis yelled at them. Zelos took that as a chance to escape the conversation. Lloyd watched him go, frowning in confusion. The guy was really weird. He flirted with everyone under the sun. So why would being together with Lloyd make any difference to his ‘reputation?’

* * *

“No! This is my birthday present. Lloyd gave it to me,” it was as if Colette’s love for her friends was the trigger to make the Keycrest work. When the woman tried away the gift, she snapped to life.

Surprised, the woman staggered back. Colette fell on the machine keeping Lloyd and the others trapped. Freed, Lloyd gave Colette the biggest hug. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Zelos frowned and he wondered if he was jealous. Maybe he had wanted to hug ‘Miss Angel’ first?

Their reunion was shortened by none other than Kratos coming forward. He came in between Lloyd and the woman, keeping him from finishing her off. He glowered at the younger man.

“What are you doing in Tethe’alla? Shouldn’t you be back in Sylvarant?”

“I should ask you the same thing. What’s your game, Kratos?” he glared up at the angel. Just seeing Kratos’ face made Lloyd want to slash it to ribbons.

From behind Lloyd, Zelos placed a hand on his shoulder. It might’ve been meant to be just a friendly gesture, but Lloyd found himself blushing anyway. Kratos, seeing the effect the touch had on Lloyd, glared daggers at Zelos.

“Hey, Lloyd. Who is this? Someone I should know about?”

“I see you found yourself a lover,” the ire in Kratos’ voice was palpable. Lloyd didn’t even bother to clear up the misunderstanding. What was Kratos’ problem right now? Last Lloyd checked, Kratos rejected _him._ And now he was upset that Lloyd may be seeing someone else?

Zelos tensed up, “Hey, I’m not into guys.”

Lloyd paused, hurt that Zelos sounded so insulted. He hated Lloyd because he was a guy? It was okay if Zelos preferred women, but the fact that Zelos wanted to be together with Lloyd in secret and then treat him with disgust in front of other people, made Lloyd upset.

Kratos gave a lopsided smirk, but the humor didn’t reach his eyes.

“That’s the best news I’ve heard all day. Lloyd,” he addressed the brunette, “You can do better.”

From behind him, Lloyd heard Zelos growl.

* * *

Because of them, Zelos had now been outcasted by the Pope himself. He was as wanted as Colette and Lloyd were.

Despite this, Zelos remained cheerful. Every once in a while, when he was alone with Lloyd, he would take Lloyd’s hand into his and just hold it. He rubbed Lloyd’s hand as if experimenting, his eyes happy and full of wonder. Lloyd’s heart swelled at these moments. He respected Zelos’ wish to keep the interactions a secret, even if he didn’t know the reason why. He even got over Zelos acting too cool for him in front of others.

They reached the Wilder mansion, after sneaking their way inside Meltokio. The girls took advantage of the four bathrooms (what house had four bathrooms?! Zelos had more money that Lloyd had thought could even exist), while the others sat at the living room. Genis made a point to sit between Lloyd and Zelos. It was as if he was intentionally trying to keep them apart.

Lloyd realized that the others suspected his arrangement with Zelos. Zelos might’ve caught onto their suspicions as well, but if he did, he didn’t mention it. Genis had designated himself as a guard dog. It seemed he wanted to keep Lloyd from suffering another heartbreak like he had with Kratos.

Lloyd was touched by his friend’s concern. Zelos, however, glared at the youngest in annoyance.

“It’s my home and I told you to let Lloyd and me have some privacy.”

“What could you possibly need to talk to him about without me here?” Genis asked, stubbornly crossing his arms.

“We’re going to discuss battle tactics. So, shoo!”

“Likely story. I am the brains here. If you want to discuss something like that, then I should be present.”

“….You little twerp,” Zelos sighed. Truth be told, Lloyd wanted Genis gone too. Although he appreciated the gesture, he was excited to be alone with his ‘secret lover.’ He wanted to see what Zelos would do without an audience.

Sheena came into the room, her hair still wet and a fancy robe covering her body. Zelos whistled his appreciation.

“Looking good, my little Water Fairy.”

“Shut it,” Sheena dismissed his teasing, “Lloyd, can I talk to you alone?”

Lloyd exchanged confused glances with Genis and Zelos. He got off the couch and followed the ninja to an empty room. While he walked away, he heard Zelos snarl at Genis.

“Oh sure. You let _her_ get alone time when she asks.”

They reached the room. Sheena made sure no one else was listening, before smiling in satisfaction.

“So…what did you want to talk about?” Lloyd asked. He felt awkward since he probably still smelled like the sewers, while Sheena smelled a lot better after her bath.

“Is there something going on between you and Zelos?”

He had been afraid of this question. Lloyd decided to feign ignorance.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Come on, Lloyd. It was pretty obvious you had a crush on him from the start. But I’m worried he’s stringing you along. Did he say he wanted to be with you?”

Lloyd felt his defenses rising. Angered, he looked down at the floor, refusing to meet her eye, “That’s none of your business.”

“Lloyd, you’re my friend. And I’m worried about you.”

“Why?” Lloyd’s tone softened, “Zelos wouldn’t hurt me.”

Sheena took in a deep breath. She looked as if something heavy was weighing on her shoulders. The woman fiddled with her hands nervously as she steadied her resolve.

“Lloyd, do you know why Zelos wants to keep the relationship a secret?”

Lloyd’s silence answered for him. Sheena forced herself to continue, although it was clear she was nervous about dropping the news.

“See….when I came to Sylvarant, I was surprised by how accepted some things were. Included two people of the same sex loving each other.”

“Why does that matter?” Lloyd had honestly never given that part much thought. He grew up with plenty of opposite sex couples, but also couples of the same sex. The normalcy of it was so engrained in his head that he didn’t even consider it would be different somewhere else.

“Tethe’alla doesn’t _just_ have a problem with half-elves. Our culture was also taught to despise same sex couples. The Church of Martel even condemns it as an abomination.

“Our Church of Martel doesn’t say that!” Lloyd couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Zelos had already proven he couldn’t fully get over his prejudice with half-elves. Did that mean he had the same doubts about Lloyd?

But if he did…then why give Lloyd a chance at all?

“One of the key differences between Sylvarant and Tethe’alla,” Sheena commented, “Anyway, it took me a while to get used to it. But some people in this world…just might never get over it. It’s been engrained in our subconscious for a long time. To the point where we think it’s abnormal. I think you made Zelos curious. And that guy….he likes to experiment with people’s feelings, the pervert that he is. I don’t want him to accidentally hurt you with his stupidity.”

Lloyd didn’t know what to say. This revelation had shocked him to silence. Everything suddenly made sense: Zelos’ refusal to admit he’s giving Lloyd a chance, the strong insistence that Zelos only liked women…..it was all clear after Sheena’s explanation.

The news didn’t wound him, not really. Right now, his heart was too numb to feel much of anything at all. He thought long and hard about what to do now. He could call it off with Zelos, as he didn’t want to be used, in secret no less.

On the other hand….Zelos didn’t seem the type to deliberately hurt someone. And as long as Lloyd knew that he was just being taken for a test drive, maybe it would be okay to continue their arrangement. Hell, if Zelos was going to experiment on Lloyd, Lloyd might as well experiment on him too.

“Thanks for telling me, Sheena. That clears up a lot of misunderstandings between him and me.”

The ninja frowned, “But you’re still going to humor him.”

“Listen, I’m glad you guys are looking out for me. But you really don’t need to. I know the risks involve, but I still want to see where I can take this relationship with Zelos. I’m 17 years old. I think it’s about time I get into this dating game.”

“Okay….As long as you know that to Zelos, it _is_ a game. He’s not a very deep feelings kind of guy, Lloyd. Just….don’t get too attached.”

* * *

Lloyd nearly laughed at Zelos’ expression. You’d think the guy had never seen a windmill before. Ever since they got to Sylvarant, he’d been looking around with his jaw dropped. Lloyd wondered if his own face had looked that stupid when he first came to Tethe’alla.

“Yes, Mr. Zelos. That’s a windmill.”

Zelos shushed him harshly, glancing around to see if anyone heard, “I told you not to use our cute nicknames for each other in public.”

“And I told **you**. Sylvarant people don’t care. At least, most of them don’t, as far as I know.”

When Zelos still looked uncertain, Lloyd offered his hand. Brows furrowing, Zelos hesitated. Then he took the hand inside his own. The redhead continued to look around. A few people noticed them holding hands, but they weren’t bothered like Zelos had thought they would be. They looked at the two male lovers, then walked away.

Zelos released a breath that he had been holding. Lloyd frowned. The redhead looked so scared that Lloyd began to have doubts. Was it fair for either of them to continue this relationship, knowing that Zelos still had these prejudices inside his head?

Then Zelos grew bold. He suddenly scooped his arm around Lloyd and pulled him into an embrace. Lloyd flushed red as he leaned into Zelos’ tone chest. This had been how he imagined a hug would be like from him. Close and comforting.

“Lloyd, I want to move here.”

“Asgard? Why? There’s no casinos here,” Lloyd tried to laugh. But this time, Zelos wasn’t joking around. His eyes were more serious than Lloyd had ever seen.

“No. I want to move to Sylvarant. Before we finish severing all the mana links. I’ll move in close to you and we can be together.”

Lloyd felt fireworks. His chest threatened to burst with both joy and surprise. This wasn’t the first time Zelos had shown he felt genuine affection for Lloyd. Whenever they were alone in the inn, Lloyd had grown used to Zelos whispering sweet nothings in his ear, petting his hair and covering him in kisses. Lloyd melted into these touches whenever they happened.

But even though their bond had deepened, Lloyd never thought Zelos would say something like this. Especially after all his complaining on how boring Sylvarant supposedly was.

“What about all your fans? Your mansion?” Lloyd paused, “Your family?”

“I can always get more fans. I am Zelos Wilder, after all. And I don’t need a mansion. I’ll just use my good looks to get even more money,” he grinned from ear to ear. He was back to his goofy self, “And my family hates me. They’ll be glad to see me gone.”

“You don’t really mean that!” Lloyd gasped. He couldn’t comprehend how someone could be hated by their own family. Family was the most important thing in the world to Lloyd. It wasn’t defined by blood, but instead by the bonds of love one family member felt for another.

Zelos studied him, before flashing him a dorky smile, “You’re my family now. My sweet little secret hunny.”

* * *

Lloyd gritted his teeth. Why did they have to keep running into him? Kratos was now in Meltokio. They had been on their way to the science center, in hopes they could help them with the Dark Temple. Kratos had been walking in the opposite direction. He paused when he saw them.

He ignored Lloyd and instead looked at Presea. He asked her about something called Sacred Wood. What was he plotting? Presea answered honestly, perhaps to avoid a fight in the middle of town. Lloyd made a move to stop Kratos and demand what he was up to, but Zelos stopped him.

“Leave him alone. We’ve got enough problems,” he held onto Lloyd’s arm.

Something in Kratos snapped. He pulled his sword and aimed the tip at Zelos’ throat. Everyone held their breaths. Was the angel going to fight them, after all?

Zelos let go of Lloyd and everyone was still, fearful of what Kratos would do next. The feral anger in Kratos’ eyes disappeared, replaced by embarrassment. He cleared his throat and withdrew his weapon.

“I was worried you were going to ruin Lloyd’s Exsphere. It’s special and could be useful for our cause.”

“Liar. I was nowhere near it!” Zelos argued. He didn’t seem to care that he was poking at a wasp’s nest.

Now that Kratos shown his aggressive side, Lloyd wanted to leave the situation immediately, before things got ugly. He looked at his lover.

“Zelos—“

“—Just admit it. I heard from Lloyd, okay. He used to like you and now you’re jealous that he chose me.”

Everyone aside from the redheads glanced around nervously. Fortunately, there was no one in the vicinity to overhear what they were saying.

“Is that what you think?” Kratos snarled.

Were they really fighting over Lloyd? The teenage swordsman couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He thought Kratos didn’t return his feelings. So why was he acting all possessive now?

..Or maybe it wasn’t possessiveness? But if that wasn’t the reason Kratos was angry, then what was?

“Why don’t you leave us alone? You had your chance and you blew it.”

“ _You are not worthy of him. And you know it, Tethe’alla’s Chosen_.”

Zelos fell silent, his face pale. Lloyd looked between the two men, wondering if they both knew something he didn’t. Finally, he decided to speak up.

“That’s not for you to decide, Kratos. And we have bigger problems than my love life right now.”

Kratos looked ashamed, “You’re right. Forgive me,” he turned on his heel and left.

* * *

Lloyd couldn’t sleep that night. His thoughts swarmed at a million miles an hour. It was all too surreal to believe. Kratos was his father. And Kratos had been aware of it this whole time.

And Lloyd had told Kratos he loved him romantically.

Lloyd needed air. He got out of bed and walked out into the snowy night air. The smell of fresh crystal did little to help his racing brain. He rested his hands on the snow-covered railing, letting it soak into his gloves without a care.

“Lloyd?” Zelos’ voice brought him back to the present. Had he been standing there long? Lloyd couldn’t tell.

“Oh! Zelos. I was just thinking….”

The redhead approached him. The snow speckled onto his red hair, making him look even more beautiful under the moonlight. Zelos stared deeply into Lloyd’s eyes.

“I guess it’s only natural. You have a lot to think about, huh?”

“I still can’t believe it. He’s my father….Kratos…..I never would’ve tried to….if I known….”

“Wow. I’ve never seen you this speechless,” Zelos brushed a lock of Lloyd’s hair to comfort him. Lloyd tensed up, giving Zelos a warning look. They needed to remember they were in Tethe’alla now. Zelos merely smiled, “Thing is, you might not believe it, but it makes so much sense to me. Now Kratos’ actions all make sense.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like how he wanted to kill me every time I got too close to you. I thought he was being a jealous ex, but it turns out, he was actually being an overprotective dad. And Martel knows I’ve dealt with plenty of those in my lifetime.”

Lloyd felt a bubble of joy swell in his heart. Kratos had been trying to protect him? All this time, Lloyd had given up hope of ever seeing his biological father. He had even less hope said father would’ve cared about his well-being. But Kratos defied both expectations.

Lloyd felt more loved than he had in a longtime, especially now that Zelos pulled him close to his chest. Suddenly, Lloyd snapped out of his happy delusion. He struggled to get out of the embrace.

“Zelos….Tethe’alla. Remember?”

But Zelos refused to let him go. In fact, it was like Zelos didn’t hear him. Zelos’ face was grave as his gaze fell onto the snow beneath their feet.

“Kratos was right to hate me though,” he spoke as if he was confessing in a church, “He’s still right to hate me. I treated you terribly by forcing you to be my dirty little secret, even though I was supposed to care about your feelings. Not what other people think.”

Lloyd froze, “I never took it personally.”

“You should have. I was unfair to you.”

“Prejudice is…..hard to overcome.”

“That doesn’t excuse how I treated you. And I’m sorry.”

Lloyd’s cheeks glowed warm his breath labored not from the cold but from his lover’s words. He looked at Zelos’ eyes and saw the determination in them, as well as the guilt. Lloyd himself forgot about the inherit homophobia of their surroundings. He leaned forward and Zelos met him halfway. They kissed.

He wished that moment would’ve lasted forever. Lloyd found himself glued to Zelos’ side, closing any distance between their bodies. He barely registered that Zelos was shaking.

“Kratos is right. I’m a bad man, Lloyd.”

“No, you’re not. And I forgive you. We’ll show Kratos that you’re trustworthy.”

This didn’t help. If anything, Zelos seemed to feel even worse. He tightened the embrace, looking like a man about to be condemn for his crimes. Lloyd ached to say something—anything—to make his lover feel better.

“Zelos, I trust you. Okay? It will be okay. I trust you.”

* * *

He barely dodged another hoard of monsters coming after him. Lloyd’s lungs burned as he ran from room to room, desperately searching for his friends. He didn’t have the time to dwell over his freshly broken heart.

It was Kratos’ betrayal all over again. Only this time, Zelos was the one who had let them all down. He had been working with the enemy from the start, even before he decided to get with Lloyd. Did that mean that he had been only pretending to love Lloyd? Just so that he could get Colette to Yggdrasil?

Lloyd was going to be sick.

But…it _had_ been genuine guilt that Zelos had felt at Flanoir, right? He had felt bad, so maybe Zelos would redeem himself? Maybe he was only pretending to work with Cruxis? Maybe right now, he snuck Colette away and was trying to get her to safety?

Lloyd dodged arrow after arrow, using his speed to avoid the trap as he proceeded further.

But then a stray arrow launched itself into his heart. Lloyd braced himself for sweet death. His last thought would be ‘ _I never knew how Zelos really felt. I never told Kratos I loved him like my dad_.

“Lloyd!” that was Kratos’ voice. He had been flying toward his son, but he was too late. Lloyd fell to the ground, fully prepared to die.

…Until Lloyd registered that he wasn’t bleeding. Kratos’ look of anguish turned to confusion. The angel grabbed the arrow from Lloyd’s chest, pulling it out of the pendent that the brunette had been wearing. Lloyd looked at the necklace that had saved his life. It had been a gift from Zelos. “A secret gift for my secret hunny. So, hush-hush, Lloyd.”

That, of all things, saved his life. Zelos’ gift. Lloyd smiled up at Kratos in relief.

“Even when he betrays me, he saves me.”

Kratos clearly didn’t understand what Lloyd was saying. But he was just grateful that Lloyd was still alive. He helped Lloyd to his feet, checking to see if there were any injuries that needed tending to. Lloyd brushed him off.

“It’s okay, Dad. I’m alright.”

Kratos paused. The D-word seemed to strike him into a happy trance. After a few awkward seconds, he recovered.

“Well, we must help you find the others.”

Lloyd smiled, proud of his father. He knew that Kratos would return to their side, “You’re right. We need to save Colette and the others. And I know we can do it if we work together.”

“What about the Chosen?”

“Colette will be—“

But Kratos simply shook his head, “The other Chosen, Lloyd.”

He held onto Lloyd tightly, as if worried the teenager would go running back to Zelos’ arms. Looking at Kratos, it was now clear to Lloyd that he really was being a protective father. Lloyd chuckled. He never thought he would get himself a chaperone on this adventure.

“I trust him, Dad. Just like I trust you.”

“But…”

“I can’t choose between you two. Please don’t make me,” Lloyd pleaded.

“I would never do that,” Kratos was mortified at the thought of hurting his son. Lloyd hugged him.

“Then trust me. I need you both in my life. Now come on.”

* * *

The adventure was over. With their combined strength, they took down Yggdrasil’s evil. His friends all separated to do their own thing. Except Zelos, now redeemed. He grinned from ear to ear, holding Lloyd’s hand as they walked through the town. Zelos was proudly proclaiming that Lloyd was his, causing Lloyd to be embarrassed.

But, if he was honest with himself, Lloyd was also happy.

Dirk had asked him what his next plan was. Lloyd and Zelos had decided to go on a new adventure. They would find all the Exspheres.

“And I will take care of them from there,” Kratos promised. He frowned at Zelos, who had his arm slung possessively around Lloyd’s shoulder. Zelos looked close to sticking his tongue out at Kratos. Lloyd refrained from sighing. Were they going to be like this forever?

“That’s right. We have to do what we can to make both worlds a better place.”

“Tethe’alla are still grossed out by us. But at least we have Sylvarant to straighten them out,” Zelos added.

“Prejudice is not easily abolished,” Kratos frowned. Lloyd stared at them both in confusion. Had the two actually _agreed_ on something?

“We’ll come back when we find them all,” Lloyd promised.

Kratos pulled his son into a one-armed hug. Lloyd took the opportunity to rest his chin on his chest. He vaguely remembered doing this same thing when he was a kid.

“Don’t die before me, Lloyd my son,” his soothing voice was gentle. Then it suddenly hardened when it addressed Zelos, “And you. Stay away from him.”

“Sure, pops.”

“Don’t call me pops.”

Zelos just gave a goofy grin, oblivious to Kratos’ annoyance.

“It’s your nickname.”

_Oh boy. Here we go again,_ Lloyd laughed in his head.


End file.
